The Bucket List: Summer of George

Who is Ernestine Ulmer? Even though a very famous quote is attributed to Mr. Ulmer, most people have never heard of the man, myself included, until I recently Googled his well-known words. "Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." So simple and somewhat funny, but those are some of the most profound words ever spoken in the history of mankind, particularly for North Americans, where the rat race is a reality of everyday life.

It's a reminder to live for the moment, something which we all need to hear every so often as we are busily working away in our cubicle farms, oblivious to the World passing us by. It also became something of a theme for this trip, as we crossed off item after item from our bucket lists. Truth be told, as this trip began, I had serious doubts as to whether or not it would be possible to actually come up with a different bucket list item for every day, but the task proved to be surprisingly easy.

In fact, the whole concept of a bucket list for this blog was validated just under two weeks into the trip, while we strolled around the Meatpacking District, during our last night in Copenhagen. That area is known as being an up and coming neighbourhood, slowly gentrifying as more and more fancy and funky cafes and restaurants sprout up. One of these places was the Mandela Cafe, which we happened to pass by and notice their blackboard, with Mr. Ulmer's famous quote scrawled across it, screaming out to us.

Everyone has their own set of beliefs, whether they are religious, spiritual, or something else - when it comes to this sort of thing, I really can't say I have any sort of belief, though sometimes I do think the Universe gives us signs. The Mandela cafe wasn't the first time I've come across Mr. Ulmer's quote recently - the first time was several months ago, as I was back in Calgary and driving to the funeral home, to make arrangements for the passing of my dear granny. Even then, I took it as a sign for this trip, a validation of the risk that I was about to take.

I had decided to do this trip long before my granny's passing, but seeing those words on a restaurant billboard during that time of grief reinforced what I needed to do. So it was quite amusing to come across those words yet again, halfway around the World in Copenhagen, so far removed from that moment of sorrow. Perhaps it was all just a matter of coincidence, but perhaps it truly was an instance of divine providence - it's impossible to say, but seeing that quote once more was another reminder of why we were there.

So eat dessert first we did, both literally and figuratively - bringing ourselves to the brink of diabetic comas as we sampled as many pastries as we could in Scandinavia, and inhaled as many pieces of baklava as we could in the Balkans. We lived every moment to its fullest on this trip, and returned home with countless memories of an unforgettable experience, one that in many ways, wound up being a sort of tribute to my granny. Because, if you can't eat dessert first after the loss of someone special, when can you?

The Summer of George is now officially over, marked by a return to an unseasonably cold and snowy Calgary, a freak surprise summer storm that dumped up to 35 cm of the white stuff in certain parts of town. That was definitely a snap back to reality if there ever was one, especially having just been in hot and humid Baku just a little over 24 hours prior. But the crazy weather wasn't the worse part about coming home - that would be starting the painful process of getting re-acclimated to the real world, and beginning the search for a new career.

Everything good in life eventually comes to an end, whether you want it to or not, and usually, you harbour regrets for not making the most of the opportunities or the time that you had. Dwelling on such things is rarely constructive or healthy, so it's important to keep looking to the future, no matter what you may have lost. But that's not to say that we shouldn't remember and honour the past, lest we all forget to live for the moment the next time the opportunity presents itself.

With the theme that we followed for the past few months, picking a song that was representative of this trip was a no-brainer. My granny will always be with us in some way, so I can think of no song better to honour her memory than with a little John Legend and Lupe Fiasco duet, and a tune called Never Forget You. While I'm at it, I'll throw a little love at my gramps too, whose time also came far too soon, over fourteen years ago.

While my religious beliefs are still basically non-existent, I'd like to think that if the Universe is a just place, somewhere out there, my granny and gramps are finally back together. Of course, whether or not such a place truly exists is somewhat irrelevant, because if you never forget your loved ones, they will always find at least one place to exist - and that's in your heart.

Words To Live By

Cheaper Than Baku ...

I Love Boots ...

Simply for the sake of saying that you had stayed in one, sleeping in a capsule hotel is something that most backpackers would love to do while traveling in Japan. Normally the domain of Japan's Salarymen, capsule hotels are typically used by the workers who have drank a little too much at the karaoke bar after a hard day of work, and missed the last train home. Capsule hotels are a simple solution for those looking for a cheap place to spend the night, and who don't mind sleeping in coffin-like accommodations.

Capsule hotels in their true form don't seem to exist outside of Japan, but the next closest thing is a pod hotel, a room that is definitely bigger than a coffin, but not by much! It's the closest I will get on this trip to crossing "Sleep In a Capsule Hotel" off of my bucket list, so the pod hotel will have to do! It actually ended up being more a matter of convenience, with my flight from Baku arriving at Heathrow at 23:00, and my flight back to Calgary departing Heathrow at 11:00 the following morning.

Even though there are some relatively-affordable hotels a short drive from Heathrow, staying at any of them simply didn't make any sense for such a short layover - by the time I factored in taxi costs to get to and from the hotel, the tiny savings weren't worth the time or the effort. So a night at Heathrow's Yotel it was! Booked by the hour like an unsavoury hotel, the Yotel is horrible value when you consider that the typical room is so tiny that you can basically lie in bed, shower, and take a dump all at the exact same time!

It's really quite an ingenious use of space, but the accommodations are quite claustrophobic, since you basically have to climb into a compartment to sleep, and have next to zero space to change clothes. You definitely would never want to spend more than a night here, but that really goes against the whole point of a pod hotel - most may only stay for a few hours while in transit, just long enough to have a shower and a quick nap. My stay totaled eight hours, which I'm willing to bet is a longer stay than is typical.

Going home after an extended trip is always depressing, so at this point I'll take what I can get - spending the night in a pod hotel is still an experience to remember, even though it may seem a tad strange and unimportant. But at least it was better than sleeping on a hard bench in Heathrow's Terminal 2!

Aliagha Vahid ...

Fancy Fountain

Turkish Bath ...

Borderline Kitsch at the Turkish Bath

Definitive Kitsch at the Turkish Bath

Shades of Paris ...

Sleeping Cat, Or Constipated Cat?

The Pod Hotel

A Little Feijoa Compote ...

The Last Azeri Meal ...

The 'stans - Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, and Afghanistan - truth be told, for most people these countries are a great unknown, with the only images associated with these countries being of war-torn Afghanistan, and of Borat in what is supposedly Kazakhstan. Anecdotal evidence suggests that these can be pretty bizarre countries, and unlike any other places in the World - so even though the 'stans are colloquially accepted as the name for this region, I prefer to call it Bizarrastan.

None of those countries are on the itinerary for this trip, so Azerbaijan will be as close as I get to Bizarrastan, even though the nearest two 'stans are only a short ferry ride away across the Caspian Sea. Of course, nothing is ever easy in Bizarrastan, so I don't think there are actually any public ferries, but travelers can usually find passage on a cargo ship. There are obvious problems with this approach - I don't know how comfortable or safe the passage would be, and they don't seem to run on any fixed schedule, departing whenever enough cargo is loaded aboard. But no matter, since I had neither the time nor the energy to explore any of the 'stans.

Getting a bit bored with Baku, today was time for a day trip to Qobustan - it's not quite Bizarrastan, but it's close enough! The concept of mass tourism still doesn't seem to properly exist in Azerbaijan, so finding any tour to the mud volcanoes or to see the petroglyphs of Qobustan is pretty much impossible. Besides taking a combination of buses and taxis, the only other viable option is to hire a taxi or driver for the day, which I ended up doing. Unfortunately, the cost of this type of service in Baku is shockingly expensive, but for the last real full day of the trip, it was time to go big or go home!

For the most part, I'd say Azerbaijan has been disappointing, at least in terms of tourist sights - there really isn't much to see in and around Baku, and apparently Qobustan is some of the best on offer that is still a reasonably easy day trip. So even though Qobustan was a bit underwhelming, especially given the high price paid to come see it, it was still quite nice to get away from Baku for a few hours. Seeing some of the luxury communities sprouting up on the Caspian was a bit of an experience on its own, as some of these developments look to be taken straight out of the Dubai playbook, with their extreme levels of excess.

The contrasts in Azerbaijan are quite jarring, especially once you leave Baku - a drive to Qobustan passes houses and condos reserved solely for the rich, cities and towns for the relatively-poor Azeris, massive industrial zones and factories, and all sorts of oil facilities. Wanting to snap some pictures of the oil facilities that are the lifeblood of the Azeri economy, I was actually warned by my driver not to take any photos. Despite his limited English skills, he was able to communicate to me that taking such pictures is a big no no, and that I could possibly be arrested for doing so, if I understood him correctly. Bizarre ...

After returning to Baku, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of trying to see or do much of anything else in town, so I settled for an afternoon and evening of lazing around the hotel and the city's cafes. It was a nice way of winding down the day, and pondering the idiosyncrasies of Bizarrastan ...

Mud Volcanoes of Qobustan ...

Qobustan Petroglyph Site

Cool Rock Formation ...

More Interesting Than the Petroglyphs ...

Looks Like Two Cows Getting It On ...

Funny Museum Exhibits ...

Oil Spill? ...

Strange ...

Common Sight While Driving In Azerbaijan ...

Ham and Cheese Crepe at Cafe City ...

Better Baklava ...

Back to Firuza ...

Bizarre ...

The level of money found in Baku continued to amaze today - having only had a few hours to stroll around in the daylight yesterday, the bling didn't jump out at me quite as much as it did this afternoon. The disparity between the rich and poor in countries such as Azerbaijan is always huge, but it seems even more so here in Baku, where there is a healthy expat culture. The streets in the USA may be lined with gold, but here in Baku they are lined with the likes of Burberry, Dior, and Gucci.

All this oil money really does make for a stunning place, but the level of excess isn't something you would see in many other places in the World. The best example may be the pedestrian underpasses found in the centre - typically, these underpasses are claustrophobic, dark, filthy holes that reek of urine. But not here in Baku! Here you'll find marble, glass, mirrors, and even moving walkways!

Perhaps Baku was the worst place to finish off the trip, as I decided to treat myself and go all out for the last few days of the trip, forgoing budget accommodations for something far more luxurious and comfortable. But the problem is that there are no real budget options here anyway, and staying at even a half-decent place in Baku that isn't infested with roaches is still far above what I would typically spend!

Prices in Baku's centre are on par with anything you would find in Western Europe, for anything from drinks to fashion to food - it's shockingly expensive, especially when you consider that the average monthly salary in Azerbaijan is something like $600 CAD. Though salaries in Baku are surely higher, it certainly puts things into perspective when you consider that the average cappuccino in the centre costs anywhere from $6-8 CAD. Imagine paying over 1/100 of your monthly paycheck for a cup of coffee?

It's extremely important to take care when ordering drinks in Baku, because while you can still have a delicious traditional Azeri meal for a relatively-affordable price, tea can set you back almost $30 CAD if you aren't careful! Of course, it ends up being a huge samovar of tea that is meant for three or four people to share, and is accompanied by all sorts of candies and nuts, but it's still a hell of a price to pay if you accidentally order the wrong thing, when you are simply hoping for a little cup of tea to round out your meal.

It's really difficult to reconcile how a country like this can function, with such an inexplicably-large gap between the haves and have nots, but it's not exactly uncommon in countries across the World. Such disparities are indicative of far greater social problems than being able to afford a cup of coffee in the capital, and are unlikely to ever be addressed within our lifetimes. So rather than stress myself out with this moral dilemma during my last few days of complete and utter freedom, I'll instead go with the flow and relax, order another cup of coffee, and get a piece of cake to go along with it ...

Fancy Shopping At Park Bulvar Mall

The Baku Biznes Centre ...

Fancy Architecture and Restaurants Abound in Baku

The Entrance to the Pedestrian Underpass ...

World's Fanciest Pedestrian Underpass

So Baku ...

Surprise, Surprise ...

Qutab ...

No Baklava Again ...

A Little Georgian Food at Imereti ...

A Major Improvement ...

Talking to fellow travelers coming from Azerbaijan, descriptions of Baku have been vague, at best. "Different" ... "interesting" ... "unique" ... "you have to see it for yourself" ... none of these descriptors sounded all that appealing, and none of them gave a very good impression of the place. As is common in this part of the World, there are distinctly different facets to any big city, which I was slowly introduced to as I made my way into Baku by marshrutka, and finally into the centre via taxi.

It started with the urban sprawl of the suburbs, then the mild chaos of the bus station located on the outskirts of the city proper, through some brutal traffic congestion, and finally to the old town. First impressions - even on the outskirts, Baku is definitely a lot more developed than its capital city counterparts in the Caucasus, probably a result of the oil money that has flowed through Azeri banks since the 1800s. You get a much better sense of the degree of oil money coursing through Baku the closer and closer you get to the centre.

Baku's old town is pretty cool - there isn't much in the way of sights, but it's quite pretty and well-maintained. However, things get more interesting as you step out of the old town and into the modern part of Baku's centre, and find yourself in a very uniquely beautiful spot. Between the architecture and the vibe, there's something very pleasant about a stroll through this part of Baku - it feels instantly recognizable, though you can't quite place your finger on exactly why that may be.

It took a little while, but I finally figured out what feels so familiar about Baku - it actually reminds me of Paris, though the palm trees and sunny Mediterranean weather constantly tell you that it isn't! Much of Baku's architecture is done in a Neoclassical style, but with a distinctly Azeri spin to it - quite striking really, especially with the beautifully-patterned tiles found in Baku's pedestrian zone, which have a bit of a Spanish feel to it, like something you might find along the Costa Blanca in a city like Alicante.

The Parisian vibe is completed with some high-end shops, cafes, and restaurants sprinkled throughout the pedestrian zone, making for a pretty cool place to spend a few hours doing very little of anything. I have a feeling I might get bored with Baku fairly quickly, but I've only got a few days here before heading home - it might just be the perfect place to actually relax and take a holiday, before returning to reality ...

Baku's European-Style Pedestrian Zone

Unique Architecture in Baku ...

Sahil Garden

Juma Mosque

Intricate Carving

Simple Mosque ...

The Old and Modern of Baku

Malokan Baghy ...

Nizami Literature Museum

Old Town At Night

Former Market Square

Gateway to the Old Town

Maiden's Tower

Cool Cafe Nestled Among Ruins of the Khan's Palace

Turkish Kofte Platter ...